The Helm

What if you had a magical superpower and it hated your guts?

Matt Blurdy's day has gone from crap to worse. Not only did his girlfriend break his heart at work--and in front of all of the video-store patrons--but he just got fired. All that's left to do is minibike his sorry, thirty-year-old (and freshly unemployed!) butt back home to his mom's basement and drown his sorrows in a bucket of extra crispy chicken while contemplating where his life went wrong.

On the way home, Matt decides to quiet his aching heart with a brief detour to a garage sale. When an ancient-looking helmet calls to him as "the Chosen One," exhorting him to don the mantle of the "Valhalladrim," Matt touches it with trembling fingers--and is jolted by raw magical power. Holy crap! Is he going to be a superhero? Is this why he always felt special even when everyone else thought he was a loser? Then the helm gets a sense of whom it's dealing with. Suddenly, it changes its tune: "I was mistaken. You are not the chosen one. Good day."

But for once in his life, Matt's not taking no for an answer. Not today.