Greetings, fright-fans! Just when you thought the world couldn't possibly get any WORSE, your old FIEND, the one-and-only (accept no substitutes!) CRYPT-KEEPER returns, with my fellow GhouLunatics, The Old witch, and The Vault-Keeper, to scare teh BEJEEZUS out of you! If you thought the recent presidential election was SCARY -- you ain't seen nothing yet! This issue, we return to the scene of the CRIME (You rmember that little thing called THE GREAT RECESSION, don't you?) with three SuspenStories set in and around Wall Street! We're all DYIN to find out what you think of these TERROR-TALES, so either E(C)-Mail us or send your FANG-MAIL through the POST-AL system, and we'll run your DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS and CAUSTIC COMMENTARIES in the next the next installment of the CRYPT-KEEPER'S CORNER. But in the meantime, we're forced to FILL UP space with DIM-WITTED EXCERPTS from an interview with our ECCENTRIC EDITOR which ran in that weekly rag called COMIC SHOP NEWS, conducted by CRAZY CLIFF BIGGERS and entitled "Jim Salicrup Unen-CRYPT-ed!"