The town of Ridgeville has been stuck in the middle of a 150 year old battle between two mad scientists, and former colleagues, Edwin Grabowski and Victor Farsimov. Both claim to have figured out the secret of immortality and created armies of zombies and cyborgs using their respective methods. The scientists have waged a war for so long within the town that the townspeople now consider it an honor to be abducted by one of the mad scientists in their quest for glory. Anyone who shows any bit of potential, be it brains, brawn, or anything in between, will be captured by one of the scientists by the time they are 25 years old.
This brings us to 30 year old Colin Bates who isn't one of the prospects. He has been selected by no one, not by scientists, girls, or even friends. He spends most of his days watching TV in his basement where he avoids doing odd jobs for his Grandma and her friends.