A self-proclaimed success story in the tradition of Tom Vu, Kirby Stasyna (Co-Writer) is not living the luxurious life he is seen enjoying on TV. Relying only on street smarts and empty beer bottles, much of Kirby's time that should be spent working on Chicken Outfit projects is wasted looking for jobs, feeding birds, volunteering at museums, and playing around with vintage gizmos and obsolete electronics. A proven creative and conceptual specialist, Kirby has yet to create or conceive personal success, financial freedom, or anything of any worth or value that isn't owned by some other company. Kirby's artistic sense has been so toned down by ex-employers, that he can only see in 2-bit color without the use of special glasses.