Vampire Queen Natasha is holding a competition for a new consort, since previous one recently left due to "irreconcilable differences" (which were all her fault, not that she'd ever admit it). She has narrowed the field to the very best of the bloodsuckers, so it's down to the final round -- but wait! We have a late entry! A certain Southern singin' sorcerer has infiltrated the Realm of the Undead! But is Speilvis's sweet silk magic a match for the ultimates of the undead?