Allow confusion to swallow you whole and spit you out into the world of Keningale Perks, an obsessive compulsive vegan and antiques appraiser whose only dream is to join the roster of host appraisers in the Antiques Roadshow.
Unfortunately for Mr. Perks, fate has other plans when an artifact turns him into a vampire during one of his routine evaluations.
Mr. Perks' days become a jumbled collection of nervous breakdowns in a reality on the edge of the precipice of madness where he must learn to deal with the side effect of eternal life:
feed the hunger for blood or risk having his shadowself, Bloody Perks, do it for him -- and destroy his old life in the process.